Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
