Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
