After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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