I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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