I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love makes seman taste better
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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