all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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