Whatcha textin bout Willis?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
