Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
