They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
