Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
where are my eyebrows?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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