dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
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Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?