i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
