lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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