the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
