im having a threesome with these popsicles
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
