My nipple is on Facebook.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
