You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
