had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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