we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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