Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Drake has all the answers
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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