This girl is more easily done than said...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
