I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
