Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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