i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
