we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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