The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Boobs are out for the taking
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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