I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She is in my trunk
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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