Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
