Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude i'm inner monologue high
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
