Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
