Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
