There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
