you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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