fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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