Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
