Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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