I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
