Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
