He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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