Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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