There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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