he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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