I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
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My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
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Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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