sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
