bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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