So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize