is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
