I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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