I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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