were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
