Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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