He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
