it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
