I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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