Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
