First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
