so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My vagina just recognized that song.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
