Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
