More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We don't watch enough power rangers
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
