New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
