dude i'm inner monologue high
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
