And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
