I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
