I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
ttyl tear gas
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
