I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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