I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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