I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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