we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
