Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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