I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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