Umm I'm too high to move.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
