is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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