Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and she was petting her beer can
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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